Buckhurst Park at Withyham has belonged to the Sackville family for a very long time, and it is still very much a home rather than a venue with a diary to fill. William Sackville, 11th Earl De La Warr, and his wife Anne open the gardens for a small number of weddings each year, and the difference tells: you are a guest on an estate, not a slot in a schedule. It sits in the heart of the Weald, with farmland, a pedigree herd of Sussex cattle and the Ashdown Forest of Winnie-the-Pooh fame on the doorstep.
The gardens are the reason to come. They were laid out by Sir Edwin Lutyens and planted with help from Gertrude Jekyll and Vita Sackville-West, a roll call that would be showing off anywhere else and here is simply the family history. There are terraces that drop away in stages, a flight known as the Sea of Steps, a sunken Italian garden built around a lily pool, and lakes below with the park rising beyond. The drive does a great deal of work before a guest has stepped out of the car.
Weddings here are marquee weddings, and there are two lawns to choose between. The Top Lawn keeps everyone close to the terrace, with drinks looking out over the gardens and the lake and the Italian garden a few steps away; the Croquet Lawn sits on the lower terrace, reached by the Sea of Steps, and takes a larger marquee comfortably. The estate keeps a preferred supplier list but will discuss others, and the Dorset Arms in the village makes an easy base for guests staying close.
Where the band plays
A marquee is a blank sheet, which is liberating and also means the practicalities land on you. The band will want a level, boarded area of stage, clean and sufficient power — a generator on most estate sites, so it is worth confirming its rating and its distance from the marquee well in advance — and a dry, lit route from the parking to the dancefloor. Set that up properly and a marquee is a lovely thing to play in: the canvas takes the hard edges off the sound, and a five or six-piece fills one easily.
Ceremonies in the village church
Many couples marry at the parish church of St Michael and All Angels in Withyham, which has its own deep connection to the Sackvilles, and then come back to the estate for the rest of the day. That makes for a classic English country wedding shape, and it also means the drinks hour in the gardens is where the music starts — a jazz trio or a solo guitarist on the terrace, with the lake below and glasses going round.
The shape of the evening
Marquee weddings set their own clock, but agree the finish time with the estate early, because it governs more than you would think: the generator hire, the transport home, the moment the second set has to land and how long the crew have to strike afterwards. As a rule the last set wants to start while the marquee is full rather than once people have drifted towards the cars, and a rural estate will usually want amplified music wound down before the last guest leaves.
Bands available in East Sussex and perfectly at home in a venue like this.
More live music in East Sussex.
- East Sussex Wedding Bands
- East Sussex Events Bands
- Tribute Acts in East Sussex
- Wedding DJs in East Sussex
- Corporate Entertainment in East Sussex
Worth reading before you book: Sound Limiters Explained. More questions answered on our England & Wales FAQs.